The T-Room
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Take Off with T-Bag

Episode 10 (Shangri-La)

First Transmitted 17.11.1992

 
 

Starring:

Denise Coffey as Empress Po/Granny Bag

 

T-Bag is having a thousand fits because she is sick and tired of searching for the surprise. T-Shirt and Tow-Ling are not paying her any attention because they are too engrossed in their game of Unhappy Families ("Have you get Master Bun the unemployed baker's son?" "No. Have you got Mrs Drip the plumber's ex-wife who ran off with Mr. Stamp the postman?").

T-Bag turns on them and orders them to take her back to Chateau Bag. The two T-Caddys refuse because they think that they are really close.

T-Bag then goes mad and seizes the controls, causing the ship to veer and swerve violently before it crash lands on a frozen, windswept landscape. T-Shirt starts panicking and yelling that they are all going to die. Tow-Ling suddenly has an idea and suggests stringing a load of equipment together. The others listen intently, thinking that he has a survival plan, but it end up that he was thinking of building a ping-pong table to pass the time until they all die.

T-Bag then suggests that they should go and find help and that they should draw lots. Whoever gets the short straw will have to go out to get help. T-Bag gets the short straw, but distracts T-Shirt whilst she trims it shorter than hers. She shoves him out in the snow. Tow-Ling protests that it is cruel to send T-Shirt out on his own, so she shoves him out too.

Out in the snow, T-Shirt and Tow-Ling go searching for a phone box.

In the saucer, T-Bag is dismayed when her one and only candle goes out. She starts to have visions of T-Shirt and Tow-Ling in a luxury five star hotel around the corner in a heated jacuzzi eating hot soup with their pyjamas being heated in front of a blazing fire. The vision becomes too much for her and she rushes out after them.

She finds her way into a cave where T-Shirt and Tow-Ling are hiding. They suddenly hear a gong. They track the sound to a beautiful garden at the other end of the cave. They have reached Shagri-La.

It is warm in the garden , so they can take off their furs. Suddenly, T-Bag sees a huge golden box labelled "Tabatha Bag's Birthday Surprise". She gets all excited and rushes to get it. Suddenly, there is an explosion and an oriental woman appears next to the box. Her face is made of porcelain. She demands to know who has defiled the garden of the temple of the Empress Po. T-Bag ignores her and rushes to get her present, but the Empress zaps her and tells them all to leave.

T-Bag tells her that she is not going anywhere without her present. The Empress then realises who T-Bag is and welcomes them. The Empress tells T-Bag that she can't have her present unless she can make her laugh. T-Bag is not impressed and decides to go home. T-Shirt brings her back and tells her that she has to open the box as they will always be wondering what was in it if they don't.

T-Bag, T-Shirt and Tow-Ling each try to make the Empress laugh, but the Empress remains po faced. T-Bag then gets really narked and wrestles the present off the Empress. She opens the box and a large, white bird pops out and pecks her on the nose.

The Empress takes off her mask and it turns out to be Granny Bag. She explains that the bird in the box is a wild goose and that the whole expedition has been a wild goose chase. T-Shirt and Tow-Ling have been in on it from the very start.

They all return to Chateau Bag, with T-Bag in floods of tears. Whe they come in, the place is in total darkness. T-Bag walks through the door and the lights come on with a shout of "Surprise!".

Everyone is at the party, including Bagsy Malone, Sultan Bagwash, Dr Strangebag, and a load of other people. T-Bag turns to Granny and says that she now understands that the greatest gift of all is friendship.

Tow-Ling comes into the room floating a massive pink cake in the air telling everyone that he has been practising his magic. Everyone is impressed until he treads on Doggy Bag's tail and turns to apologise. The cake falls out of the air and splatters all over T-Bag's head. The series ends with T-Bag sitting under a heap of cake bawling her eyes out.


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