The T-Room
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Take Off with T-Bag

Episode 7 (Phantom of the Opera)

First Transmitted 27.10.1992

 
 

Starring:

Jan Ravens as Olwyn de Bag

Duncan Preston as Fritz Schnitzel/The Phantom

 

T-Bag is in the bathroom singing (screaming) , whilst T-Shirt and Tow-Ling cringe in the T-Room with their fingers in their ears.

Meanwhile, Olwyn de Bag is on the stage at the Vienna opera, rehearsing her Carmen. Fritz Schnitzel, the proprietor of the opera hears her and applauds enthusiastically. Olwyn is not as pleased with her performance and says that she sounded like an old fishwife. Fritz disagrees and pours compliments on her. She is placated by this and then retires to her dressing room to rest. As they make their way to the dressing room, a ladder falls and narrowly misses them. They hurry to the dressing room, where Olwyn collapses onto her sofa in hysterics because her nerves are in tatters. It appears that the falling ladder is just the latest in a string of mysterious accidents that have been happening in the theatre. She tells Fritz that there are rumoursof the theatre being haunted by a phantom.

Fritz is not convinced, but Olwyn continues in her tirade, "At this rate, Fritz, I'm going to be making my entrance in a COFFIN!". Fritz tries to convence her that there is no phantom. He tells her to continue to rehearse in her dressing room, and he leaves telling himself to try to keep her calm before she leaves them all in the lurch and flees. As he makes his way back to the stage, we see a large, masked figure emerge from the shadows.

Meanwhile, T-Bag and crew touch down in vienna.

Olwyn is rattling off a few arpeggios in her dressing room in front of the mirror. The mirror swings open and the Phantom steps through. He asks her to sing for him, but she tells him to go away. He uses some weird hypnotic power on her, and she begins to sing.

Fritz finds that the trap door on the stage has been left open and that the male lead of the opera has fallen through and broken every bone in his body. He apprehensively goes to the dressing room where Olwyn is still singing and he breaks the news to her through the closed door. He tells her that he will have to be her co-star himself. Olwyn carries on singing. The Phantom joins in, and Fritz hears. He demands to know who is in there with her. The Phantom scoops her up in his arms adn she starts screaming. He disappears back through the mirror. Fritz bursts in through the door only to find the room empty.

T-Bag sweeps onto the stage with her sidekicks. She announces that it takes her back to her days in the RAC. She recalls her performance in the Royal Flugelfurt Opera House (in "T-Bag's Christmas Ding-Dong"). T-Shirt turn's to Tow-Ling and tells him, "During the interval she had half a pint of largo and came on in the second half completely pizzicato!". T-Bag rebukes him with the classic line, "Get off this stage, you uncultured twerp! You wouldn't know your arias from your elbow." She orders them to carry on searching for the surprise whilst she stands on the stage and sings in a weird, howling voice.

Fritz comes onto the stage and asks if he can help her. She tells him that she is just limbering up the old tonsils, and he assumes that she must be a great singer. He immediately tells her that she must play Carmen that night. He leads her to the start dressing room.

The Phantom takes Olwyn to his secret lair in the bowels of the theatre. He locks her in a cage and tells her that he has brought her there because he is in love with her. He tells her that without her, he has brought the opera down and also he has her there to sing for him. He uses his odd influence on her again and she starts singing.

T-Bag is rehearsing in the dressing room, whilst eating a bunch of cherries.

The phantom hears T-Bag singing in the dressing room and is furious that Fritz has found another soprano. He goes to sort it out.

T-Bag is on stage wailing her head off. Fritz tells her that he has never heard such a sound in all of his life. T-Bag completely misunderstands and is flattered. Fritz leaves and T-Shirt and Tow-Ling come onto stage. They tell her that they have searched everywhere, but can't find the surprise. They find their way into the start dressing room and find the secret door behind the mirror. Tow-Ling decides to go and investigate. T-Shirt is apprehensive, but follows.

T-Bag and Fritz are on the stage, and Fritz explains that in this scene, he will be on the stage polishing his musket whilst T-Bag will dance towards him. T-Bag tells him that she is not very fond of guns, but Fritz tells her that it is only a prop. He goes to show her, but we see the Phantom swap it for a real musket. Fritz fires the real musket and scares T-Bag. She chases after Fritz. When she catches him, she grabs him around the neck and tells him that if there are any more incidents like that one, he will be the one singing soprano. She goes to get into her costume. Fritz notices that there is a chandalier in the middle of the stage that shouldn't be there, so he hoists it back up to where it should be.

Tow-Ling and T-Shirt find Olwyn in the cage. They release her because the Phantom keeps the key hung up on the wall.

Meanwhile, the Phantom find the rope supporting the chandalier and places a candle beneath it to burn through the rope.

The curtain on the stage rises for the overture of Carmen. T-Bag dances across the stage in a flamenco costume whilst Fritz polishes his musket.

Olwyn and the other hurry through the labyrinth beneath the theatre to save the day. Olwyn dashes onto the stage with a cry of "STOP!"

The audience goes wild with applause. Hearing this, the Prima Donna in Olwyn takes over and she turns to the audience and curtseys and is overcome. T-Bag does the same and tells Olwyn to get lost because she is stealing her thunder. "Push off you, you old dragon!" yells Olwyn, and shoves T-Bag off the stage into a pile of scenery. Olwyn then takes the stage and starts singing her big aria.

The chandalier rope is nearly burned through when the Phantom sees that Olwyn will be hit by the chandalier instead of T-Bag. He rushes onto stage and pushes her out of the way. The chandalier falls and knocks him down. Olwyn takes off his mask to find that he is identical to Fritz.

Fritz is shocked because the Phantom is none other than his brother, Wolfgang. Wolfgang reveals that he was jealous of Fritz because he was always their father's favourite. The Phantom idea was just a ploy to drive him out of business because the Theatre was left to Fritz by their father.

Fritz tells him that if he asked, he would have made him a partner.

T-Bag emerges from the tangled curtains, etc that she landed in. Fritz tells her that she is no longer needed because the star had returned. He hands her her cards (another golden envelope).


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