The T-Room
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Take Off with T-Bag

Episode 6 (Anthony and Cleopatra)

First Transmitted 20.10.1992



Murray Melvin as Antonius

Sebastian Abineri as Brutus

Evelyn Sweeney as Letitia


The gang land in ancient Rome. They find their way into a market place and decide to split up to look for the Birthday Surprise.

Brutus, a slave trader, sees Tow-Ling on his own in the market place. He asks the boy what he is doing in Rome and he tells him that he is looking for T-Bag's birthday surprise. Brutus tells him that he knows where it is and tells him to come and see. He leads him to a dingy cell and locks him in.

Antonius (a Roman senator) is on his way back from Marcus and Spartacus with his shopping. He stops at a well for a drink. Brutus appears behind him and startles him, making him spit water al over his shopping. He introduces himself as a slave driver and asks what he is doing carrying his own shopping. He says that he should have a slave to carry his shopping for him. The Senator is not interested, but he is finally persuaded, as the next time we sees him, he is being handed Tow-Ling on a leash.

A girl arrives in the market place as the Senator emerges from the slave shop. The Senator leads Tow-Ling off home. T-Shirt and T-Bag arrive in the market place, calling for Tow-Ling. The girl approaches T-Bag and asks if they are looking for Tow-Ling. She introduces herself as Letitia and she explains that Tow-Ling has been sold into slavery. T-Bag decides to go and get him back, but Letitia warns them that they will need a good plan first. She suggests that T-Bag disguises herself as Queen Cleopatra and makes the Senator fall in love with her so that she can woo him into giving Tow-Ling back. T-Bag thinks that this is a ridiculous idea and tells Letitia to butt out. She then turns to T-Shirt and tells him that she has just had a brilliant idea...

Meanwhile, Letitia falls foul of Brutus.

Tow-Ling is busily fanning his new master and booing his eyes out. There is a knock at the door, and the Senator (who is feeling bad because Tow-Ling is so miserable) decides to answer the door himself. It is Brutus. He has another slave for him - Letitia. Letitia is furious about becoming enslaved. Brutus dumps Letitia on the Senator and tells him that he'll be around to pick up the cash later.

As soon as Letitia is in the Senator's house, she starts yelling at him and telling him that if he knows what's good for him, he'll let her go and go to the senate and tell them to abolish slavery as it is brutal and inhumane. The Senator is impressed by her speech, but Letitia stomps off to find something to cut her chains with.

T-Shirt comes in dressed as an Egyptian slave carrying a rug. He announces that he has a delivery for Antonius and throws the rug down on the floor. He unrolls it and out pops T-Bag dressed as Cleopatra (surprise, surprise!). She starts flirting outrageously with him and tells him that she had a dream about him and fell in love. She says that she has been travelling the world in search of him. Antonius turns to T-Shirt and says, "Funny woman!".

She eventually wins him over, when there is a knock at the door. It is Brutus. The Senator launches into Letitia's speech about how brutal and inhumane slavery is, and he announces that he is going to the senate to get slavery banned. Brutus is horrified because he will be out of a job. The senator leaves, and Brutus vows to change the Senator's mind.

Later, Brutus buys a mind changing potion from the Apothacary and creeps into the Senator's house, where he and T-Bag are throwing grapes into each other's mouths. Brutus slips some potion into the grapes.

T-Bag asks the Senator if she can have one of his slaves. The Senator asks her how he can possibly give her something that isn't his to give. He grants his slaves their freedom, but then he has a grape and changes his mind and says that he loves slavery.

T-Bag demands that she wants the boy. She eats a grape and changes her mind, saying that she wants Letitia instead. T-Shirt reminds T-Bag that they came to get Tow-Ling. He eats a grape and tells T-Bag that they are not leaving without the Senator's lovely vase that he keeps on his sideboard. He asks the Senator for it, and he refuses saying that his mother gave it to him. One grape later, and he thinks that it is a bit naff and that T-Shirt can have it after all. T-Bag snaps at T-Shirt and tells him that she doesn't want the vase. After another grape, she decides that it would smashing on the telly with a few tulips in it. The Senator has another grape and decides that T-Bag can't have it. He gives it to Letitia instead, who doesn't want it anyway. T-Shirt asks her why because he thinks it's fabulous. He has a grape and decides that it's a piece of trash. T-Bag has a grape and starts yelling at everyone that they aren't there to talk about vases, but they want the boy instead. She has another grape and asks the Senator what other vases he has.

This goes on for ages. After a while, T-Shirt decides that he will crush the grapes and turn them into a drink. Letitia are sitting around looking bored as the Senator and T-Bag are eating grapes and arguing. The Senator finally sits up and asks if they can settle the argument. T-Bag tells him that they want the girl, but T-Shirt corrects her. After another grape, T-Bag agrees. The Senator tells her that they can have them both. T-Shirt grabs Tow-Ling, T-Bag and Letitia and makes a dash for the door. The Senator eats the last grape and then yells at them for taking the slaves.

Brutus turns up and offers to give the Senator a lift in his chariot to the Senate building to deliver his speech. The Senator tells him that it won't be necessary as his slaves will take him. He says that he thinks slavery is a wonderful thing. Brutus says, "I'll drink to that", and grabs the grape juice from T-Shirt and drinks some. He suddenly changes his mind and tells the Senator that he thinks slavery is evil. He demands that the Senator should go to the Senate building and start the ball rolling to abolish slavery.

"Do you reckon?" says Antonius. T-Shirt agrees whole-heartedly and grabs the drink back off Brutus before handing it to the Senator, who takes a big gulp.

"Do you know, I think I will!" he says. He releases Tow-Ling and Letitia and they all make a hasty exit.

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