The T-Room
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T-Bag and the Suntones of Montezuma

Episode 5 (Hippies)

First Transmitted 3.2.1992

 
 

Starring:

Joe Grossi as Sonny Daze

John Hasler as Ed Banger

 

On a ship which is home to a radio station (Radio Love) somewhere in the 1960's, Sonny Daze (spelling?) is getting down to some groovy sounds.

T-Shirt is listening to the radio in the T-Room, and then T-Bag comes in and tells him to switch it off and then starts whinging on about how T-Shirt is turning into a deliquent. T-Shirt completely ignores her.

On a sunsoaked beach, we find an Afro-Haired version of T-Shirt playing a rock guitar. Penny appears and starts yelling at him because she thinks that he is T-Bag. The rock star (Ed Banger), gets freaked out with all the bad vibes from Penny, and then explains who he is. Penny apologises. Sonny turns up and greets Ed, who is waiting for his lift out to the radio station. Penny tries to ask about the sunstones, but Sonny thinks that she is a screaming groupie who just wants an autograph. He tells her to wait until Ed comes back. They set off to the ship laving Penny on the beach.

T-Bag is at her wits end trying to cope with T-Shirt's loud music. She throws him out and he appears on the beach, where he settles down in a deckchair and listens to his radio.

In the studio, Sonny and Ed arrive. They set up the gear and then Sonny gives Ed a big introduction. Ed Sings:

I looked in the sky where a giant apple pie

Was coming to land on the palm of my hand.

And out stepped a chicken and a walrus whose lickin'

A pistachio sundae on Marshmallow Monday.

Down by the sea in a bubblegum tree

Sits Polythene Pam, her sitar full of jam.

I'm feeling quite weird 'cos I'm growing a beard.

I'll be moustachioed one day, on Marshmallow Monday.

Marshmallow Monday, let down your hair.

You're such a fun day, don't be a square.

Marshmallow Monday. One day! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

T-Bag sees the performance and assumes that it is T-Shirt. She is furious.

After the song, Sonny asks Ed if there was any way in which he could show how appreciative he is. Ed tells him that he really digs the chain that Sonny is wearing (it has the next sunstone on it). Sonny hands it over gladly. T-Bag sees this and is amazed. She summons him back to the T-Room.

When he appears, he asks T-Bag who she is really furious with him, thinking that he is winding her up. He hands over the chain having had enough of her rantings, but it is the wrong chain. It turns out that he has taken a chain of bells.

Back on the beach, Penny comes across T-Shirt lounging on his deck chair. She is very suspicious of why he was ther, but he reassures her that he doesn't care where the next stone is. He gives her an ice cream and tells her to relax and listen to the music.

Back on the ship, T-Bag is done out like a hippie singer. She offers to sing in return for his chain.

T-Shirt explains how he came to be on the beach and not looking for the stone. He reassures Polly that T-Bag is probably back at the T-Room lost without him. Just at that moment, T-Bag comes on the radio and starts singing in a dreadful voice. Penny hears and is furious with T-Shirt because she believes that he has been telling lies.

On the ship, T-Bag is still singing until the microhone explodes with the strain. Sonny is angry at this and calls her a crazy lunatic. "What about peace and love?" asks T-Bag. "Shove love and take a piece of this!" he exclaims as he hurls her over the edge of the ship. Needless to say, she doesn't get the chain.

She concedes that she will need the help of T-Shirt after all. She goes back to the T-Room to find that Ed has rearranged everything to make it look like a pot palace. T-Bag is not impressed to say the least and gives him a load of grief. She then notices the real T-Shirt in the saucer and takes Ed to the beach where she ties him up. Penny is hiding somewhere in the background as she tells T-Shirt that he is to take Ed's place and go back to the studio to sing and get the chain. T-Shirt tells T-Bag that he needs some equipment, so she magicks up a guitar and a gigantic amplifier. T-Shirt then tells her that she will have to be the roadie and carry all of his gear around, but as he is telling her this, Penny unties Ed and they hide inside the massive amplifier.

T-Bag and T-Shirt appear back in the studio and Sonny is overjoyed to see that Ed has come back, but he is not pleased to see T-Bag, although T-Shirt explains that she is his roadie. T-Bag then asks Sonny if he could give the chain to T-Shirt if he sings, and Sonny agrees. Whilst he announces that Ed is back to sing, Penny climbs out of the amplifier with Ed and cranks up the volume to it's highest level before running off to hide. The studio goes quiet for the performance, and T-Shirt thrashes the guitar. As soon as his fingers hit the strings, the noise from the amplifier blows them up and destroys the studio.

Ed and Penny creep out of the wreckage and Ed tells Sonny that he will buy a bigger ship. Ed tells Sonny that he has to repay Penny for releasing him and asks Sonny if she can have the stone on the chain. Sonny hands it over.


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