The T-Room
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T-Bag and the Suntones of Montezuma

Episode 3 (Wilma Tell)

First Transmitted 20.1.1992

 
 

Starring:

James Saxon as Hamburger Guzzler

Selina Cadell as Wilma Tell

 

In the T-Room, T-Bag and T-Shirt are playing chess. T-Shirt wins, naturally, and T-Bag slaps him.

Penny appears in Switzerland She bumps into a fat official call Hamburger Guzzler, who demands that she hands over her bag. She refuses but he grabs it off her. Penny protests that the sunstones are vital and that he mustn't take them. He is only interested in a bar of chocolate in the bag. It turns out that nobody is allowed to own chocolate apart from Guzzler.

Back at his castle, Guzzler puts the chocolate bar into a chest in his stronghold. As he emerges from the vault, an arrow flies past him and sticks in the wall. It has a note from Wilma Tell on it saying that the Chocolate Liberation Front is coming to overthrow him and liberate the chocolate back to the people. Guzzler offers a reward for the capture of Wilma Tell in the form of the next sunstone.

T-Bag sees this in the saucer and an idea forms in her head.

Penny is sitting down on the valleyside when Wilma Tell greets her as she passes. Penny tells her exactly what has happened to her chocolate. Tell tells her that he has hoarded all the chocolates in the district, and that she heads the CLF to get them all back. Tell asks if Penny wants to join them, but Penny says that she is on an important quest herself. Tell is all ears and Penny explains the quest.

Back in the castle, there is a knock on the door. T-Shirt comes in and tells Guzzler that he has captured Wilma. He brings T-Bag in kicking and screaming disguised as Tell, but Guzzler isn't convinced even when T-Bag shows her railway pass. Guzzler tells T-Shirt that the only way he will be convinced is if "Tell" gives a demonstration of her archery skills. He makes T-Shirt put an apple on his head and tells T-Bag to split the apple with a single shot from her bow. T-Shirt is not happy. He turns the apple into a pumpkin to give T-Bag a beter chance of hitting it and not him. T-Bag releases a bolt from her bow and ithits a pulley attached to a rope suspending a chandalier above Guzzler's head, which plummets and bashes him. T-Bag insists that he let it be the best of three, but Guzzler is furious and calls the guards to capture them. They leave, needless to say!

Penny finishes explaining the quest to Wilma, and Wilma tells her that the next sunstone is the price on her head. Wilma tells her that if she is willing to help her raid the castle and liberate the chocolate, then they will see if they can lay their hands on the sunstone also.

In the castle, Wilma comes in disguised as a guard with a huge trunk which she tells Guzzler is full of chocolates from a cuckoo maker's secret stash that they raided that morning. Guzzler insists on having a quick taste, but Wilma says that they are special chocolates that need to be saved for a special occasion. Guzzler (whose nose is adept at sniffing out chocolate from great distances) finds it funny that he can't smell the chocolate in the chest, but he puts this down to it being bashed by the chandelier. Wilma drags the chest into the strongroom and then leaves. The chest then opens and Penny gets out and starts packing the chest full of Guzzler's chocolates.

Guzzler decides to celebrate by eating more chocolate, but when he bites it, he breaks a tooth. T-Bag and T-Shirt shortly turn up claiming to be Paula Toothout and Phil McCavity - world famous dentists, complete with large pliers, laughing gas, etc. Whilst they are getting out some particulularly huge painful pliers, Wilma comes in and tells him that the chocs she brought in earlier are mouldy and that she had better get them out before they contaminate the rest of his stash.

T-Bag tells T-Shirt to search Guzzler for the stone whilst she is digging around inside his mouth. Guzzler soon realises that they aren't dentists at all and starts to call for the guards. T-Bag decides to administer some anaesthetic and bashes him over the head with a baseball bat. T-Shirt grabs the stone off him.

Wilma comes back out of the strongroom with the chest and a rather large, conspicuous looking hump in her back under her cloak. T-Bag guesses that the hump is Penny and calls her out. T-Shirt shows her the stone and T-Bag proclaims victory. Wilma draws her sword and the two engage in a fearsome sword fight. Penny demands the stone from T-Shirt, who refuses to hand it over, so she chases him around with the baseball bat. Guzzler recovers, but Penny wallops him with the bat by accident. His bad tooth flies out. He recognises T-Shirt and grabs the sun stone back off him. T-Bag accidentally cuts the hose to the laughing gas. T-Shirt and T-Bag become helpless with laughter and go back to the T-Room tkaing the gas with them.

Guzzler is very grateful for Penny extracting his tooth. He gives the stone to Penny. He then tells Wilma that his toothache has put him right off sugary food and that she can take all the chocolates and distribute them amongst the people. Wilma is over the moon about this, but Guzzler then decides that he should get into fruit instead and tells the guards that anyone caught in possession of a banana is to be horse-whipped.


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