The T-Room
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T-Bag and the Suntones of Montezuma

Episode 2 (Gussie and Twittering)

First Transmitted 13.1.1992



David Neville as Gussie Milksop

Ralph Nossek as Twittering


In the T-Room, T-Shirt is writing out his own journal like Paisley Shirt did, but T-Bag ridicules this idea.

Gussy Milksop is on the phone to his bossy Auntie (somewhere in the 1920's). When he comes off the phone, he tells Twittering, his butler, that his aunty demands that he gets married or is cut out of her will and will not be able to inherit her huge estate. She has sent him the engagement ring already (with the stone on it) and they start going through a list of eligible ladies. The butler suggests a wealthy American Heiress who is coming to London called Daisy Pelf. Gussie writes a note to her and Twittering goes to deliver it.

T-Bag sees this in the saucer and comes up with an idea.

Penny arrives in the kitchen of Gussie's house. Gussie comes in and assumes that Penny is the new cook. He sends her out to get some groceries for dinner that night. When she has gone, he hears a knock at the door. He opens it and a mad looking red-headed woman Charleston's her way into the house followed by her butler with a grammaphone. She introduces herself as Daisy Pelf (although it is really T-Bag, naturally). She makes T-Shirt put some tango music on and she seizes Gussie and Tango's him around the house, until she goes to dip him, but dumps him on the floor instead.

Gussie goes upstairs to recover and change for dinner. T-Shirt warns T-Bag that she is being pushy and will scare him off. Twittering returns and is puzzled when T-Bag introduces herself as Daisy, since he has only just delivered the note. T-Bag sees that he is suspicious so she sets T-Shirt on him to trick him into taking him on a guided tour of the house under the pretense that he is really struck with British culture, architecture, etc.

T-Bag settles down onto the sofa and tries to look seductive and alluring. Gussie comes back and T-Bag tells him to come and whisper in her ear.

Meanwhile, T-Shirt has dragged Twittering down to the kitchen and asks him if he thinks that Gussie will propose to T-Bag. Penny is hiding in the larder and when she hears the mention of the ring, she puts two and two together and races to up the stairs to the drawing room.

Gussie is proposing to T-Bag and T-Bag accepts, but before he can hand over the ring, Penny bursts in and interrupts the proceedings. Gussie is outraged. Penny protests, but T-Bag tells Gussie not to be lenient and locks Penny in the larder.

Gussie thinks that it is a bit harsh to lock her up. T-Bag then lets on that she hates kids, and Gussie tells her that he would quite like a son and heir one day. "You want sun and air? Go to Majorca!" is T-Bag's reply. The telephone rings in the hall and Gussie goes to answer it. In the kitchen , Twittering turns to T-Bag and tells her that he doesn't believe for one minute that she is Daisy Pelf. He then starts up the stairs to tell Gussie. T-Bag hits him with a rolling pin and leaves the body by the larder door, clutching the keys.

Meanwhile, Gussie is on the phone to the real Daisy Pelf. T-Bag is rumbled. Gussie goes into the drawing room and T-Bag comes in shortly afterwards to continue with the proposal and get the ring. Gussie is infuriated again and tells her that he will not be conned. T-Bag demands the ring because she had accepted the proposal. She chases Gussie around the room.

Penny manages to get the keys out of Twitterings hand by lowering a bent fork on a string through a ventilation hole in the larder door and hooking them.

The chase is still on in the drawing room. T-Bag and T-Shirt catch Gussie and turn him upside down. T-Bag grabs the ring and goes into transports of rapture and a big long spiel about how she will be all powerful, etc. once she has the rest of the stones. Meanwhile, Penny creeps up behind her and pulls the rug out from beneath her feet, sending her crashing through the wall of the house and into a pile of dustbins.

Later, Gussie decides that he wants to remain a bachelor. Penny asks if she can have the ring seeing as he won't need it, and he agrees.

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