O'Shea is playing snakes and ladders for money in his bar with Beau
Legge from the foreign legion fort. Every time Beau throws the dice,
it comes up six so he always wins. Rick has lost everything to Beau
apart from his mother's pearl engagement ring.
T-Bag is getting desparate. She is whinging
about how Sally has all but one of the pearls. T-Shirt starts whinging
because T-Bag is making him do all of the housework by hand rather
than letting him do it by magic. T-Bag finds the pearl in the saucer
decides to go and get it. She turns around and finds that T-Shirt
is all set to go having used his magic to get the housework done.
She goes to grab him, but he vanishes and appears behind him, startling
Back at Rick's bar, Beau Legg wins the ring
off him and then returns to the fort.
T-Bag gets really ratty with T-Shirt and takes
away his magic. T-Shirt decides to leave her. T-Bag asks her where
he is going and he tells her that he wants to go somewhere that he
can forget about her. She sends him to the foreign legion fort and
then goes to find the pearl.
Sally arrives in the fort. Beau comes across
her and turfs her out of the fort because he is a woman hater and
women are forbidden in the fort. T-Shirt then appears and tells Beau
that he wants to forget a woman. T-Shirt joins up.
T-Bag appears in Rick's bar. T-Bag tells him
that she wants to play him at sankes and ladders, betting something
dear to his heart. Rick agrees.
Back at the fort, T-Shirt is in uniform. Beau
tells him that he will forget about women by working himself to a
standstill. He makes him run around the courtyard fifty times.
T-Bag wins the game and Rick tells him that
Fatima, his camel, is tethered out the back for her to collect as
her prize. T-Bag demands to know where the pealr ring is and Rick
tells her that it is up at the fort. She decides to go and find him,
but Rick tells her that he is a woman hater.
Sally comes into the bar. Rick gets her a lemonade.
T-Shirt has finished running around the courtyard,
but hasn't forgotten T-Bag. Beau responds to this by sending him on
manouvers into the desert. He tells him to run out to an oasis 44
miles away and back again. T-Bag appears once T-Shirt has gone. Beau
tells her to get out. T-Bag zaps him and his tone changes slightly
and he asks her more politely. She then zaps him again and he insists
that she stays because he has fallen head over heels in love with
her. She asks him if he wants to play snakes and ladders, but he tells
her to forget such childish pass-times because he is completely spellbound
by her. He asks her to meet him at Rick's bar that evening. She agrees,
but is repulsed by the man.
She goes back to the T-Room and calls to T-Shirt
to make him a cup of tea, but he isn't there. She drinks the tea that
she has made, but it is revolting. She pours it into the saucer, but
her picture is useless because the tea was awful. It eventually clears
up. to revel Beau on the phone to Rick. He is telling Rick to lay
on a special evening for him and T-Bag because he plans to marry her
and give her the engagement ring.
Rick tells Beau not to worry. He then gets
busy making the arrangements. He tells Sally that some lucky lady
is going to end up with a pearl on her finger that evening. Sally
immediately becomes interested and volunteers as a singer for the
bar that evening. Rick takes her on.
Beau is back at the fort ironing his uniform
for the evening. T-Shirt returns and Beau tells him everything about
meeting the beautiful woman of his dreams. He gets T-Shirt to iron
his trousers. Whilst he is doing this, he finds that Beau keeps weighted
dice in his trousers that always come up six.
Back at the bar, Sally is playing the piano
whilst Rick is lighting candles and creating ambience. She sings:
they say that the desert is romantic.
afraid that I don't understand
to me it's just so hot and gigantic,
you've never seen quite so much sand!
in your coffee and sand in your tea,
in your sandwich, you've got to agree.
in your sandles and sand in your hair,
it comes to the desert, there's sand everywhere!
if you land in the desert,
sand in the desert -
warned you, you'd better beware!
When Sally has finished, Rick hears Beau arrive
outside. He comes in with T-Shirt. T-Shirt sees Sally at the piano
and tells her that he has left T-Bag and he asks Sally if she has
found the last pearl. She says that she knows that Beau has come to
propose to some woman, but neither of them know who it is. They decide
to ask the woman if they can have the pearl because she might be really
T-Bag appears in an evening dress. Beau orders
champagne for the pair of them. Sally guesses what has happened. Beau
launches into a long romantic build up to his proposition, but T-Bag
cuts him short and tells him to get on with it. He gives her the ring
and Sally and T-Shirt cry out in despair. Beau asks when they will
be wed, but she tells him she would never marry him.
Rick comes in with the champagne and asks if
a toast is in order. T-Bag says that it definitely is. Rick pops the
cork adn ir flies out and hits T-Bag straight in the mouth and she
catches it between her teeth and falls over backwards into a chair.
T-Shirt dashes out and grabs the pearl ring off her finger whilst
she is disorientated. T-Bag goes back to the T-Room.
Beau grabs the ring back off T-Shirt and tells
him that it is his. Sally pleads with him to let them have it, but
he maintains that he won it fairly from Rick. T-Shirt then tells Rick
that he uses weighted dice to win. Beau is then forced to give everything
back that he has fleeced from Rick. Rick is so grateful to the children
that he gives them the pearl. They set off back to find Captain Cockle.