The T-Room
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T-Bag and the Pearls of Wisdom

Episode 8 (Cedric Sackbutt's Search for a Song)

First Transmitted 20.2.1990

 
 

Starring:

Jim McManus as Sir Cedric Sackbutt

Jan Hunt as Robyn Hood

Sally arrives in Sherwood forest. She finds a castle where Sir Cedirc Sackbutt is preparing for a big annual Song Contest. He assumes she has come to put down her name for the contest. Sally says she hasn't got time, but he shows her that the prize is a chest of treasure with a pearl in it. She puts her name down and sets off to write a song.

She sits in a woody clearing to get inspiration. Whilst she is sitting, her bag gets stolen.

T-Shirt sees this in the saucer.

Sally rushes to see Sir Cedric and tell him what has happened. He tells her that it could only have been Robyn Hood that stole her bag if it was taken in the wood. He tells her that it is gone forever.

T-Bag sees this. T-Shirt tells her that he could try to get in with Robyn and then nick the bag back. T-Bag tells him that it is a pathetic idea and then tells T-Shirt that she is going to dress up as an old beggar woman and con the pearl out of Robyn that way. T-Shirt tell her that his plan is much better and so they both go to try out their plans.

T-Shirt arrives at the campsite and calls for Robyn. Robyn comes out and T-Shirt is surprised to see that she is a woman. She tells him to get lost because he is not a woman. She then explains that she has a band of Merry Maids (Eleanor Dale, Jill Scarlet, Little Joan, etc.). She draws her dagger and T-Shirt scarpers.

T-Bag comes in dressed as an old woman. She whinges on at Robyn about how poor she is. Robyn takes pity on her and hands over half a groat to send her on her way.

Back at the contest room, Sir Cedric asks Sally how the song is going. She tells him that there is no point in writing her song because she hasn't got the pearls any more. She vows to go and get them back.

T-Bag decides that T-Shirt's idea wasn't that bad and so decides to go and try to get into the Merry Maids. She appears dressed as an outlaw. She then regails Robyn with her tales of bravery in the past. Robyn takes her on. They hear a twig break and they hide in the bushes. A richly dressed little girl wanders into the clearing and Robyn tells T-Bag to go and rob her. T-Bag pounces on the girl with her dagger drawn and the girl turns around. It turns out to be T-Shirt in disguise. He runs over the plan with her at the top of his voice. Robyn Hood hears all of this and comes out and threatens them with her dagger. They go back to the T-Room before she attacks them.

Sir Cedric calls out of the castle window with a hailer to attract people for the contest, because Sally is still the only entrant. Robyn hears that there is treasure going and comes in to steal it. Sally comes in and catches her red handed. Robyn goes to threaten her with the dagger, but she has forgotten to bring it. Sally demands her bag back aggressively. Robyn caves in and admits that she has only been an outlaw for a couple of weeks and that Sally is the first person that she has robbed. She tells Sally that she is an ex-minstrel. Sally then has an idea and asks if she wants to help her in the song contest. Robyn agrees, enthusiatically and rushes off to get her lute.

T-Shirt is rowing with T-Bag because he has loads of good idea and she comes along and stuffs them all up. T-Bag tells him to shut up and tells him that they are going to disguise themselves as royal guards and arrest Robyn. They go to the clearing and apprehend Robyn as she's collecting her lute. She tells them that she isn't an outlaw and that she has returned the bag to Sally. She tells them that she is off to win a song contest. This is the first that T-Bag and T-Shirt have heard about it and they go back to the T-Room.

Sally comes in dressed in an intricate medieval dress. Robyn goes over the song with her:

 

Where the meadowsweet springs, the nightingale sings.

There's a flutter of colourful butterfly wings.

All the wee flower faces which call peek-a-boo,

Yes, the flowers of the forest remind me of you.

 

The song contest begins.

T-Bag sees that the prize includes the pearl. She decides to go and win the pearl. T-Shirt is worried that they don't have a song, but T-Bag tells him not to worry about minor details.

Back at the contest, T-Bag appears and halts the contest and tell Cedric that they want to enter. Cedric is really pleased because it means that it will be a real competition T-Bag barges onto the stage with T-Shirt and tells T-Shirt that they should make up the song as they go along. T-Shirt starts playing the hurdy-gurdy and they sing:

(The lines of the song are sung alternately by T-Bag and then T-Shirt)

 

Oh, as I went out on monday morn in the merry month of May.

Riding on my skateboard on the road to Mandalay.

The sky was blue, the trees were green, crimson was the rose.

Then the wheel came off my skateboard and I landed on my nose!

With a Hey-nonny-nonny. Hey-nonny-nonny. Hey-nonny-nonny-no!

 

T-Bag thinks that the song was marvellous, but T-Shirt isn't convinced. Just to make sure they win, she sprinkles pepper on Sally's posey of flowers that she is holding.

Sally and Robyn are next up. Sally starts to sing whilst periodically taking a sniff of her posey:

 

Where the meadowsweet springs, the nightingale sings.

There's a flutter of colouful butterfly wings.

All the wee flower faces which call peek-a-boo,

Yes, the flowers of the forest all say ACHOO!

 

Oh, the fragrance, the perfume, the colouful hue,

ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO!

Yes the flowers of the forest remind me ACHOO!

 

Sally is really embarrassed and realises what has happened. T-Bag announces herself as the winner, but Cedric gives the prize to Sally because their song was so hysterically funny.

T-Bag snatches the pearl from out of the chest and is just about to leave when Sally throws the posey at her telling her to catch. T-Bag catches it and starts sneezing. She lets the pearl fall to the floor and Sally grabs it and brandishes it at T-Bag as if to say, "naa-naa-na-naa-naaaa!". T-Bag curses them all and then she and T-Shirt return to the T-Room.

 

 

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