The T-Room
Counter: 125

T-Bag and the Pearls of Wisdom

Episode 2 (High Noon)

First Transmitted 9.1.1990



Matt Zimmerman as Doc Leaf

Marlena Mackey as Pearl Starr

Wild West.

T-Bag is going over the finer points of using the saucer with T-Shirt. She sees Sally in the town.

Sally comes across someone acting very suspiciously. He tells her to get lost. She goes away and he robs a bank. The loot is a bunch of jewels and the pearl. T-Bag sees this in her saucer and they decide to go and get it.

Sally comes back and finds the bank robber to ask directions. The Sheriff (Pearl) jumps out and tells them to freeze. She goes into the bank to check it out. Sally asks the robber what has happened and he tells her that somebody has robbed the bank. He then tells her that the robber ran off and points down an alleyway. Whilst she is following his gaze, he hides the loot in her bag (sound familiar?) and she goes off in the direction he pointed to see if she could find the robber. As he's about to follow her, Pearl comes out and searches him. He tells her that he doesn't know anything about the robbery and Pearl goes off disappointed because half of the loot belonged to her.

T-Bag comes into the T-Room dressed in a spectacular diguise of a long red dress with a fuzzy boa, etc. She sets off to get the pearls from the robber.

The robber is feverishly searching for Sally. T-Bag appears and tells him that she knows that he robbed the bank. The robber denies it and T-Bag tells him to convince "The Kid" of that. She explains that "The Kid" is the meanest gangster in the West. She tells him that the kid loves shooting people who rob banks before he has the chance. She tells him that if he hands over the loot, she can give it to The Kid, who may let him off. She tells him that The Kid will be riding into town at noon, so he'd better have the loot by then, or he'll end up buried on Dead Dog Hill.

T-Shirt tuts at her for not getting the pearl, but she tells him what she has done so far.

Pearl goes into Pearls office and introduces herself.

T-Shirt is really excited about being "The Kid". T-Bag explains that one look from T-Shirt will make the robber give up the loot because she has terrified him.

Sally has explained the quest to Pearl. Pearl tells him that she did have pearl, but it was nicked. Sally offers to help Pearl catch the robber in return for the pearl. She is made the Sheriff's deputy.

T-Shirt rides into town and the robber pleads with him not to kill him. T-Shirt demands the loot, but the robber tells him that it is hidden in Sally's bag. T-Shirt gives him 10 minutes to find the pearl. The robber goes straight to the Sheriff and tells her about The Kid and tells her to go outside and arrest him because he robbed the bank.

T-Bag appears and asks T-Shirt where the pearl is. T-Shirt tells her that it is in Sally's bag. Pearl arrives and tells them all to freeze. Sally arrives and T-Bag tells her that T-Shirt is innocent and points at Sally, saying that she is "The Kid". Pearl arrests Sally and puts her in jail.

Cut to the Sheriff's office. The bank robber tells the sheriff that Sally isn't the kid, but T-Shirt is. The Pearl doesn't believe him because Sally had the loot in her bag. Sally denies stealing it and a huge row blows up until Pearl shuts them up by firing her gun. She tells them all to get out. Pearl puts the loot in her desk drawer, and Sally asks if it would be better to put it in the safe. Pearl tells her that the safe is broken and goes off to tell the manager of the bank that the loot is recovered.

T-Bag and T-Shirt appear and search for the loot. T-Shirt moves a load of potted plants from a bunch of shelves whilst he is looking. He puts a large cactus from the shelves onto the desk chair. T-Bag then thinks of looking in the desk and sits on the cactus. After this incident, they go back to the T-Room to remove the spines from T-Bag's behind.

The robber comes in and demands to know where the loot is. Sally tells him that it is in the safe.

Back in the T-Room, T-Shirt is pulling out the spines. T-Bag sees that the robber is trying to get into the safe and assumes that the loot must be in it. T-Shirt suggests bringing the safe to the T-Room.

The robber attaches dynamite to the safe (sound familiar?). He lights the fuse. The safe disappears.

Back at the T-Room, T-Bag thinks that she can smell burning. T-Shirt dives for cover and the safe explodes, ruining T-Bag's hair and dress.

Pearl comes into the office and Sally yells at her to dive for cover. The robber realises that the safe has vanished and holds Pearl at gunpoint, telling her to get the loot that he stole. Whilst Pearl is getting the loot, Sally notices that the robber is standing underneath a wagonwheel suspended from the ceiling that Pearl uses to hang plants from. She undoes the hoist through the bars and the wagonwheel falls, hitting the robber on the head.

Pearl releases Sally and gives her the pearl.

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