The T-Room
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T-Bag and the Revenge of the T-Set

Episode 4 (Turkish Delight)

First Transmitted 24.1.1989

 
 

Starring:

Frank Coder as Karim Carmel

Martino Lazzari as Fizz

Sally arrives in a Turkish market.

T-Shirt is half-heartedly doing the housework. T-Bag tell him that she doesn't want him under her feet whilst she's trying to find the next spoon, so she presents him with another big long list of chores. He asks why he can't magic it all done, but T-Bag tells him that hard work never hurt anyone.

Back at the market, Karim Carmel is talking to his dead Uncle Abdab's portrait. He recalls fond memories of his uncle's practical jokes. He then thanks him for the inheritance that he left - a bottle of lemonade. He shakes the bottle and it rattles. He then realises that it contains more than lemonade, so he opens it. The bottle shakes violently and out pops a mischievous spirit who introduces himself as Fizz. After stealing some sweets and lemonade and slobbering all over Karims face, he pulls Karim's fez over his face and steals his silver pocket watch. Once he has sorted himself out, Karim tries to trick the sprite back into his bottle. He dangles a silver sweet in front of Fizz, who is immediately transfixed and tries to snatch it. Karim notices that the sprite is obsessed by silver and shoves the sweet into the bottle. The sprite goes back in after it, and Karim slams the stopper back on the bottle.

Back in the T-Room, T-Shirt is still faffing at the housework. T-Bag tells him to get on with it, but T-Shirt tells her that he is not feeling well. T-Bag conjurs up a thermometer and shoves it in T-Shirt's mouth. Whilst she is not looking, he stirs it in T-Bag's tea. She reads the thermometer and it says that he has a fever of two hundred and twelve degrees.

She is shocked and tells him to lie back whilst she does the housework. She offers to get him something, so he asks for a whole load of stuff. With each item he adds to the list, he sounds less and less pathetic, until he sounds so fully recovered that T-Bag whirls around and stares at him. Seeing that she is suspicious, T-Shirt coughs pathetically. T-Bag still isn't sure if he's skiving, but turns around to go and get his things.

Sally arrives at Karim's stall. She buys a bottle of lemonade, and Karim passes her one. As she goes to hand him the money, she drops it on the floor, and they both bend down to pick it up. When they both stand up again, Sally picks up the wrong bottle and wanders off.

T-Shirt is watching the TV at full volume, until T-Bag switches it off, saying that it distracting her from finding the girl. She sees that Karim has the next silver spoon in the saucer.

At Karim's stall, T-Bag appears dressd as a Turkish belly dancer as far as I can make out. Karim puts down his cup of mint tea with the spoon and asks if he can sell T-Bag any sweets. T-Bag points to the far end of the stall and asks for some of the sweets over there. Karim picks up his tea and spoon and goes to get them, much to T-Bag's dismay. At the other end of the stall, T-Bag does the same, and Karim picks up his tea and spoon and goes to get them. "What's that?" T-Bag asks pointing to the other end of the stall again. "Turkish delight." is the reply. T-Bag then says that she'll take the whole box. Karim again takes his tea and spoon to get the box. T-Bag then magics up a small bag of money and tosses it to him. Whilst he is catching it, she grabs the spoon and vanishes.

Back in the T-Room, T-Bag appears with all her sweeties. She tells T-Shirt that it is a pity that he is so ill or he could have had some sweets aswell. She tucks into them saying how delicious they are. T-Shirt tells her that he is feeling a little better, but T-Bag is unconvinced. He says that he is definitely feeling much better. T-Bag says in that case it won't be long before he is up and about and ready to get on with the housework. T-Shirt has a sudden relapse. T-Bag sees this and goes to get something for his cough. Whilst she is gone, T-Shirt grabs some Turkish Delight and stuffs it in his mouth. T-Bag catches him at it, and despite his attempts to cough and splutter, T-Bag tells him to get up and get on with it. He asks if he can have a sweet, but T-Bag tells him no and proceeds to eat the whole lot.

Sally is still wandering around the market. She takes out her bottle of lemonade and wrestles to get the top off. Fizz appears and tells her that she owns him. Sally tells him that she doesn't own him at all. Fizz then goes funny and sniffs the air. Sally asks him what's up. He says that he can smell silver and asks if she has any. Sally says that she is carrying silver spoons in her bag. Fizz goes to snatch her bag, but Sally is too quick for him and clutches it tightly. She asks if he collects silver and Fizz tells her that he has loads of it in his bottle. Sally has a look and sees a great pile of silver objects in the bottom of the bottle. She tells Fizz that she doesn't think that it is silver at all, but just a pile of old junk. Fizz is furious. Sally tells him to prove that it is silver by going into the bottle and bringing a piece out for her to see. Fizz does this, and Sally shoves the stopper back in the bottle.

Back at the stall, Karim notices that his watch has been stolen. Realising that it was made of silver, he guesses that Fizz must have taken it. He opens a lemonade bottle on the stall only to find lemonade in it. He guesses that Sally must have taken the bottle and rushes off to warn her.

In the T-Room, T-Bag has finished the sweets and has a terrible stomach ache. T-Shirt decides to go to a chemist to get some medicine. He pops off to the market where Sally is still searching for the spoon. He finds that the chemist is shut. He tells Sally that T-Bag is ill and Sally tells him about some "wonderful medicine" that she got from the chemist to cure her stomach ache after she ate too many sweets. She hands him the bottle of Fizz, and T-Shirt pops off back to the T-Room with it.

Karim finds Sally and asks for the bottle back. Sally tells him that it has gone.

In the T-Room, T-Shirt opens the bottle and fizz pops out. T-Bag turns to T-Shirt and demands to know where he got the bottle. Whilst she is extracting this information, Fizz grabs the silver spoon off the table and stuffs it into his beltline. He then darts around the T-Room nicking silver teapots, etc. T-Shirt wrestles it off him and demands that he gets back into the bottle. Fizz tweaks his nose. T-Bag yels at T-Shirt to force him back into the bottle. T-Shirt has an idea and looks into the bottle and tells Fizz that he is going into the bottle to steal his silver. Fizz laughs at him and tell him that only he can get into the bottle. T-Shirt disagrees and magics himself into the bottle and starts shouting about all the lovely silver things that he is going to steal. Fizz panics and goes in after him. T-Shirt comes back out and shoves the stopper back on. T-Bag tells him to take it back to Sally.

Sally is telling Karim all about her quest. Karim tells her that he has a spoon just like the ones that she has, but he is puzzled when he can't find it. T-Shirt appears and tells her that it was a rotten trick giving him the bottle. He shoves it back int her hands and disappears.

Sally tells Karim that they should open the bottle, but first do a deal with Fizz. She pulls the stopper loose and tells Fizz that if he returns all the stolen silver and promises never to steal again, he can have his freedom. He agrees. Sally removes the stopper, and Fizz pops out with all the silver. Karim takes his watch back off the pile and Sally asks who it all belongs to. Fizz says that it all belongs to Uncle Abdab. Karim works out that it must all be his inheritance. He gives Sally the silver spoon.

Karim tells Fizz that he is free to come and go as he pleases and throws away the stopper.

Back in the T-Room, T-Shirt tells T-Bag that they can relax now that they have the spoon because it has put a stop to Sally Simpkins. T-Bag tells T-Shirt that he is really stupid because she needs the whole lot, not just one. T-Bag then notices that they haven't got the spoon, and T-Shirt sees that Sally has it in the saucer. T-Bag is furious.

 

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