The T-Room
Counter: 159

Turn on to T-Bag

Episode 6 (Scrimp)

First Transmitted 9.2.1988



John Cater as Ebenezer Scrimp

Sam Kent Smith as Tom Scrimp

In his front room, Ebenezer Scrimp is counting out his shillings from a little box that he keeps in the chimney. He hears some carols as he is putting the box back. He rushes out of the door and chases the carol singers away, waving his stick at them. He puts his box back in the flue when he returns.

T-Bag hooks up her T-Plant to her transmission device. It sparks into life and then goes dead. T-Bag is frustrated because she can't begin brainwashing children until she gets the booster device. She then gets back to the mater in hand and switches on the TV to see what Holly is up to. The room fills with the sound of carols. T-Bag is disgusted and she switches the TV off again. T-Shirt is annoyed that T-Bag didn't tell him that it was Christmas, and then he sets about making arrangements to decorate the T-Room. T-Bag is really annoyed with him and threatens to punish him unless he shuts up about Christmas and starts helping her.

Scrimp is waiting for his nephew impatiently. His nephew, Tom, comes in late and his Uncle tells him off and asks what he has been up to. He tells him that he was on his way home when this old lady slipped and fell on the ice and hurt herself. He helped her up and carried her big, heavy bag of shopping home for her. Apparently, she lived miles away. Ebenezer asks him how much she paid him for this, and Tom says that he didn't want to be paid. Ebenezer is absolutely stupefied, and tells him that the woman made a real fool of him. He then demands to know how much he earned. Tom made one penny all day because nobody wanted their chimneys swept on Christmas Eve as they would be too busy putting up trees, etc.

Tom then asks if they could have a tree, but the Uncle is mortified that he should even suggest such a thing. He asks Tom what the point is in buying a dead tree to look at, and then throwing it away once you have finished looking at it. Ebenezer gives him a dead twig from the fireplace and tells him to look at that instead because it is free. He leaves the room, saying that there will be no Christmas in his house.

There is a knock at the door,and Tom answers it. There, on the doorstep, is a freezing cold Holly. Tom invites her in and sits her down. He rushes off to get his uncle. Holly nods off in the chair.

Back in the T-Room, T-Shirt has decorated. He starts singing:

Jingle bells T-Bag smells

She's a right old pain.

Tallulah Bag's a right old hag.

I'll sing it once again...

T-Bag comes in having heard him. She is cross that it the T-Room has been turned into Santa's grotto. T-Shirt then asks if she wants her present. A greedy look flashes into T-Bag's eyes and she asks what it is. T-Shirt hands over a fishing rod. T-Bag asks what on Earth she is supposed to do with it. "Go fishing" is the answer. T-Bag is not impressed. She tells T-Shirt to stop mucking around and help her find Holly.

Tom drags his uncle into the front room where Holly is sleeping. Ebenezer demands to know who she is. Tom explains that he found her on the doorstep and that she isn't well. "That's her problem. Get her out of here!" snaps Ebenezer. Tom asks if he can at least make her a hot drink. Ebenezer agrees so long as she can pay for it. Tom is disgusted and starts lecturing him, not noticing that he is dipping his fingerless gloved hands into Holly's bag. He takes all the crystals, then turns to Tom and suggests that he goes to find what is in the larder so the girl doesn't starve to death.

T-Bag sees that he has the crystals, and tries to think up a plan to get them off him. T-Shirt tells her that he has a foolproof plan and that it is a real winner. T-Bag is reluctant to hear it, but eventually agrees.

Back in the front room, Ebenezer goes to put the crystals into the box in the chimney, but there is a knock at the door. It is T-Bag and T-Shirt dressed as carol singers. They launch into "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" at a million beats to the bar. T-Bag then looks almost desparate as she gives her speech - "A Merry Christmas to you, sir. Please spare a thought for the poor and needy. Share your wealth with those less fortunate than yourselves and give, Give, GIVE!".

Ebenezer slams the door in her face and a snowfall lands on them both.

Tom comes into the room with a paper package. He asks Ebenezer if it is anything that the girl can have, but Ebenezer snatches it back off him, telling him that it is his treat that he bought himself for his tea. He tells Tom that there are some old crusts lying around the place that the girl can have.

T-Bag is really cross with T-Shirt for having such a rubbish idea. T-Bag switches the monitor back on and sees Ebenezer hiding the crystals in the box in the chimney. T-Shirt comes up with the idea that they should try to hook the box up the chimney with the fishing rod. T-Bag tells him to shut up, and then gets a brilliant idea - all they have to do is try to hook the box up the chimney with the fishing rod.

Back in Ebenezer's front room, Holly wakes up. She looks to see if the crystals are in her bag, but they have gone. Tom comes in with the bread. He offers it to Holly, but she slaps it out of his hands and demands to know what he has done with the crystals. Tom tells her that he doesn't know what has happened to them. He asks if they were valuable, and Holly says that they are. Tom then realises that it must have been Ebenezer who took them. They go off to find him.

T-Bag and T-Shirt appear on the roof. T-Bag begins to lower the hook down the chimney.

Ebenezer is back in his front room, gloating over what a profitable day it has been. He takes his treat down from the mantlepiece where he left it earlier. It is a smelly old fish skeleton. He puts it into a frying pan in the fireplace and then goes off to find some matches.

Whilst he is away, a hook comes down the chimney and catches the fish. On the roof, T-Bag gets all excited because she has caught something and she starts reeling it in, enthusiastically. T-Shirt is amazed that she actually managed to catch a fish. T-Bag tells him to get rid of it, and he drops it down the chimney.

Ebenezer returns with some matches and is furious when he sees that his fish has gone. He looks up the chimney to see if it has gone up there, and it lands on him. He is really furious and decides that it must be Tom playing tricks on him.

T-Bag is annoyed that the plan didn't work out and starts formulating another one. T-Shirt says that he has an idea, but T-Bag says that she doesn't want to hear it. T-Shirt tells her that she could climb down the chimney and grab the box. T-Bag like the idea after all, but tells T-Shirt that it will be him climbing down the chimney. T-Shirt protests and asks what he should do if somebody sees him. T-Bag disguises him as Father Christmas and then tells him to go down the chimney.

Ebenezer is telling Tom off for stealing the fish. Holly then tells Ebenezer off for stealing her crystals. An almight row breaks out. Ebenezer tells them all to shut up and pushes them out in the snow.

T-Shirt reaches for the box, but then he falls and lands in the fireplace. Ebenezer looks scared when he sees him and asks who he is. T-Shirt wishes him a Merry Christmas and says that he is Santa Claus. Ebenezer asks where his present is. T-Shirt magics up a present and it appears in Ebenezer's hands. Ebenezer drops it and jumps back in surprise. T-Shirt says, "Not good enough, eh?" and magics up a huge pile of presents taller than Ebenezer himself. Ebenezer is amazed that it is all true and that there really is a Santa Claus. He rushes to the door and calls Tom and Holly back in saying that he was wrong and that it will be a wonderful Christmas after all.

T-Bag is staring down the chimney, wondering what is keeping T-Shirt. T-Shirt is down in the fireplace, and decides that he is not going to climb back up the chimney to get the box. He shoves a brush up it to see if he can reach it.

T-Bag shoves her head down the chimney to call for T-Shirt, and she gets a mouthful of chimney brush and soot. She re-emerges from the chimney with a completely black face. She yells for T-Shirt, who sees that her face is black and tells her that he has an idea how she can get it off. She seeths, and T-Shirt makes a hasty retreat back to the T-Room.

Later in the front room, the decorations are all up and the room looks warm and festive, with a huge dinner on he table, etc. Some carol singers outside the window start singing "Good King Wenceslas" and Holly joins in. Ebenezer pokes his head out the door and tells the carollers to keep it up. he throws a load of coins to them.

Ebenezer asks Holly if she wants to stay for dinner because they have loads, but Holly says that she would love to, but she can't because she hasn't found the crystal. Tom tells her not to be like that and proffers a cracker for her to pull. She pulls it and the next crystal falls out of it. Ebenezer tells her that she has no more excuse and that she has to stay for dinner.




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