The T-Room
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Turn on to T-Bag

Episode 3 (Yeti)

First Transmitted 19.1.1988



Irene Sutcliffe as Daisy Digwell

John Hollis as F Bloggs

The next programme begins. It is set at a monastery in the Himalayas.

T-Bag tells T-Shirt to keep his eyes on the screen whilst she goes to the old monastery. She finds an old cap ther with "F. Bloggs" embroidered on it. She explores to find him.

Holly turns up in the mountains and finds a campsite belonging to a chatterbox botanist called Daisy Digwell. She tells Holly that she is in search of the rarest plant in the world - a type of orchid.

A monk wanders into the monaster and is accosted by T-Bag. She interrogates him about his name and he feeds her some story about it being the initials of his position - "Father Bountiful Loyal Overlord of the Glorious Garden of Secrets". She demands to know whether Holly has been to the monastery, but he says that nobody dares go anywhere near it because there is a Yeti that would have anyone for lunch. She doesn't believe a word of it. She sees that he is hiding something in his habit and makes him show her. It isn't the crystal that she thought it was, but instead, it is a beautiful orchid. She demands to know where the crystal is, but he doesn't know.

Holly, meanwhile, is explaining her quest to Daisy. Holly suggests that it could be in the monastery, but Daisy refuses to let her go as night is falling. She suggests that she should stay the night and then they can both go in the morning.

T-Bag arrives back at the T-Room and finds T-Shirt buried in a book about TV monsters. She tells him off for not watching waht Holly is doing in the programme. She confiscates the book and goes to bed. She tells T-Shirt that he must stay up all night and watch Holly. As soon as she is gone, he magics his book back up and settles down to read.

Meanwhile, we find Fred grinding up orchids to make perfume. He pours it into a bottle with a crystal for a stopper.

Holly asks Daisy if she ever gets lonely in the mountains, but Daisy explains that you are never alone, and yodels.

Fred hears this from the monastery and acts very suspiciously.

T-Shirt sees Holly going into the tent on the screen and goes down to capture her. When he arrives, there is a terrible roar, and he rushes back to the T-Room. He drags T-Bag out of bed, and she accuses him of having nightmares brought on by the book that he was reading.

Holly and Daisy are both cowering in the tent. Daisy suggests singing a song to cheer them up:

If you ever feel fearful whistle a cheerful tune *whistle*

If you don't feel merry, whistle and very soon *whistle*

You won't feel scared, you won't fell blue.

The only thing you've got to do

Is pucker your lips and whistle a cheerful tune.

(this verse repeated by Holly. Next verse sand by Holly and Daisy together.)

If you ever feel frightened a whistle can lighten your day.

So you see, we'll whistle and whistle and feel okay.

We won't feel scared, we won;t feel blue.

The only thing we've got to do

is pucker our lips and whistle a cheerful tune (repeated twice)

Both agree that this song hasn't helped at all.

When morning comes, Daisy says that she is going to leave because it is too dangerous. Holly says that she promised to come to the monastery with her and says that she might find an orchid at the monastery. Daisy agrees.

T-Bag tells T-Shirt that they must go to the monastery. He refuses because of the Yeti. T-Bag forces him under protest. She spends some time arguing with him about the existence of the Yeti at the monastery. She finally half convinces him, and leaves him whilst she goes to search the monastery. Fred comes in and tells T-Shirt that it is a lie that the Yeti doesn't exist.

T-Bag hears Daisy and Holly approaching, so she disguises herself and T-Shirt in habits. When they come in, T-Bag says that they must observe the rules of the monastery and hand over all of their worldly posessions. Holly is just about to hand over the bag of crystals, when Daisy gives a shriek. She has found the ground remains of loads of the orchids. She then finds the perfume bottle, and Holly takes the crystal stopper. Daisy then launches into a tirade about how they shouldn't grind up such rare flowers. T-Bag throws off her hood and advances on Holly to get the crystal off her. T-Shirt spots a large shadow looming behind them. There is a monstrous roar and T-Bag panics and they both go back to the T-Room. Holly and Daisy cower against the wall, but the roaring turns into a sound like tape snarling. We then see that the "Yeti" is really Fred in a really unconvincing gorilla suit. He is shaking a stereo and uttering curses at it for breaking down.

Daisy tells him off and tips away the perfume. Fred complains that it took him ten years to get that much perfume, then decides that there must be easier ways to make a living, so he stomps off in his gorilla suit.

T-Bag is rejoicing because she assumes that Holly will be being chewed up by the Yeti. She looks at the TV set and sees that she hasn't, and gets a bit peeved.


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