The T-Room
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T-Bag Bounces Back

Episode 6 (Hi Hat)

First Transmitted 27.2.1987

 
 

Starring:

Burt Kwouk as Hi Hat

Susan Leong as the Princess


Debbie arrives in a street in China outside a hat shop run by Hi Hat. We see Hi Hat busy in his shop completing a hat. He sings a song:

If you want to get ahead then get a hat.

Anyone who's got a head will tell you that.

Forget those beads and bangles.

Floral hats at British angles

Will ensure that you are gawked and goggled at.


High hats, low hats

My hats are show hats.

Cool cats rule that

There's no hat quite like a Hi Hat hat.


If you want to be a showoff at the races,

See the jealous looks on all the womens faces;

In my pink and blue creation

You will cause a real sensation

As you swagger round exuding airs and graces.


Hi hats, low hats

My hats are show hats.

No hat, no hat, we all know that

There's no hat quite like a Hi Hat hat.


Hi Hat holds up the hat that he has been working on to admire it. He reveals that it has been designed especially for the Princess from the Royal Pagoda. The Princess arrives. She is a very enthusiastic, but somewhat dizzy woman who can never make up her mind about anything. Hi Hat shows her the hat and she falls head over heals in love with it. She tries it on in the mirror and gushes enthusiasm about it. All of a sudden she goes off it. Hi Hat is distraught. The Princess tells him that she feels as though there is something missing from the hat, so he goes through a box of accessories and decorations for hats. He tries feathers, but the Princess doesn't like them, he tries a bow, a string of carrots, and finally a gold bell. The Princess falls in love with the gold bell and raves about the hat with the bell on it. Then she goes off it again. She tells Hi Hat that one bell looks silly and she wants a whole string of bells. She leaves the hat with Hi Hat until he can get a load more.

T-Bag sees that Debbie is back in China and is furious that she isn't still trapped in the tomb. T-Shirt starts making a dreadful noise from the bathroom (he's playing in the bath), so T-Bag tells him to shut up.

Debbie goes into Hi Hat's shop and asks if she can have the gold bell that he has. She explains that she has to get all the bells, and shows the others to Hi Hat. He says that she can have the bell if she models a new hat for him. Debbie agrees and he gives her the bell. He gets out a hat and sticks it on Debbie's head. It goes over her eyes so she can't see. Whilst she is in the dark, Hi Hat steals the bells from her bag.

Debbie thanks him and leaves.

T-Bag finds T-Shirts clothes as he is getting out of the bath. She tells him off for wearing such scruffy rags and gets rid of them. T-Shirt keeps his cap back (which he was already wearing). T-Bag magics up a smart uniform for T-Shirt. T-Shirt hates the new clothes.

T-Bag sees that Hi Hat has all of the bells in his shop and tells T-Shirt that they have to go and get them. T-Shirt refuses because he is embarrassed in his smart new clothes.

Hi Hat has finished putting the bells on the hat and the Princess arrives. She fall head over heels in love with the hat, so Hi Hat wraps it up quickly before the Princess has a chance to change her mind again. She trots off with it quite happily telling him to send her the bill.

T-Bag appears in the shop and tells Hi Hat that she has seen a hat that she wants. Hi Hat starts to go through his wares. We then see Debbie stomping angrily back to the shop to get her bells back. She stops dead when she sees T-Bag has beaten her to it.

Hi Hat goes through all his hats with T-Bag, but then she demands to know where the hat with all the gold bells on it is. He tells her that the Princess has it. T-Bag demands to know if she's paid for it yet, but she hasn't, so T-Bag offers Hi Hat ten times the amount if he can get it back. He agrees and sets off as T-Bag vanishes. He walks straight past Debbie who follows him.

T-Shirt is still tugging at his collar in the T-Room.

The Princess is in her chamber in the Pagoda trying the hat on. She puts the hat on at various angles and finds that she loves the bells, but hates the hat. She takes the bells off and tries to decide what to do with them - earrings or a bracelet, etc. A gong sounds and Hi Hat comes in. He tells the Princess that she has a beautiful haristyle and that she shouldn't wear a hat over it. He tells her that the hat he made makes her look dreadful and he takes it back. The Princess agrees with him and is very grateful that he is geting rid of it for her. As he leaves, she tells him that if he should pass any butlers to send one up to her because she is thirsty. She then goes back to deciding what to do with the bells and Debbie appears at the window.

Back in the T-Room, T-Shirt is still tugging at his collar. T-Bag tells him that he looks very nice and that his new outfit is here to stay. She sees that Hi Hat has returned with the hat and goes back to the shop to get it. When she has gone, T-Shirt sees that the Princess has the bells instead of Hi Hat. He decides that if he can go and get them, then T-Bag would be so pleased that she'd let him have his old clothes back.

He magics himself off to the Pagoda and goes into the Princess's dressing table where she keeps the bells, but they aren't there. The Princess comes back, so he tries to dash away. The Princess spots him and assumes that he is a butler, so she stops him. She compliments him on how well he is turned out and says that he is a credit to the staff. She asks T-Shirt to make her a cup of tea.

Hi Hat is really laying it on thick to T-Bag about how difficult it was to get the hat off the Princess, but T-Bag doesn't care. She gets the hat out of its box and is furious to find that the bells are no longer on it. She disappears without paying Hi Hat.

T-Shirt serves the tea to the Princess. She raves over it because it is so refreshing and she asks T-Shirt if he has a lot of teamaking experience. She then takes another drink. "Yech! Dishwater!" she yells. T-Shirt is taken aback and the Princess asks him to get rid of the tea for her. The gong rings and T-Shirt answers the door. It is Debbie. He puts his cap on after hearing Debbie's insults about how he is dressed up like a dog's dinner and gets rid of her, telling the Princess that it was a nosey busybody. The Princess falls head over heels in love with his cap and asks if she can have it because it will go perfectly with her green and gold ballgown. T-Shirt gives it to her in return for the bells. Debbie sees this through the window. She scuttles off to find the gown. Whilst Debbie climbs in through the windo and hides in a little curtained alcove.

T-Bag turns up and relates her tale of woe about the hat and the missing bells to T-Shirt. T-Shirt hands the bells over to her in return for her allowing him to have his old clothes back. Debbie waves to T-Shirt from the alcove and draws the curtains, leaving her toes pointing out from below the curtain. T-Shirt tells T-Bag that Debbie is there behind the curtain, so T-Bag puts the bells down on the dressing table and draws back the curtains with triumphant glee. Debbie has meanwhile crept around the back somewhere and she grabs the bells from the dressing table and heads for the door, leaving T-Bag staring at the empty pair of Debbie's shoes behind the curtains. Debbie taunts T-Bag from the doorway, and T-Bag gets so annoyed that she grabs the shoes and throws them at Debbie, who picks them up and scrams.

The Princess then comes back in with T-Shirts cap dressed in the gown. She tells T-Shirt that she has gone right off the cap and gives it back to him. She then sees T-Bag's starry tiara and falls in love with it. She pings it with her finger and T-Bag looks very hurt.

 

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