The T-Room
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Wonders in Letterland

Episode 7 (Debbie in the Land of V)

First transmitted 16.5.1985




John Thirtle as the Vulture



Debbie and T-Shirt arrive in the haunted land of V. Debbie thinks it strange that T-Bag isn't following them. They hear a wolf howling and T-Shirt wants to go back. She tells T-Shirt that he has been very brave up until now and that she is proud of him, so he decides to stay. She asks him to help her find the letter V and explains to him what it looks like. Debbie decides to look in a large cave behind her. T-Shirt decides to stay outside and look.

Inside the cave, Debbie calls out to see if there is anyone about. A vampire springs out from behind a rock and startles her. He asks her if she wants to hang around for a bite, but Debbie decides that she would rather not. The vampire goes on to explain that he is quite harmless because he has had his fangs removed. He is now the friendliest vampire around.

Debbie asks him if he gets lonely in his big vault all by himself, but Vic Vampire explains to her that the cave is full of friends. He calls out to Valerie and Vivienne, two worms that do a little dance with a pumpkin to some very unusual music. Debbie tells Vick that she is in a bit of a hurry and asks if he has seen the letter. Vick tells her that maybe his friend the wise old vulture could help her. He points the way further into the cave.

Outside, T-Shirt is still searching for the golden V. He is just about to give up, when he notices a stray arrow stuck into a tree. He pulls it out and notices that the head is actually the golden letter V. He accidentally drops it and then gets down on his hands and knees in a patch of flowers to look for it.

Debbie finds the wise old Vulture (who is actually dozy as anything!). Debbie explains that she wants to find some letters. The vulture thinks that she said lettuce and goes into raptures about how he has become a vegetarian vulture and can tell her everything she needs to know about vegetables. He sings a song:


Oh, I used to eat nothing but brown bread with honey on,

I'd turn up my beak at the smell of an onion.

I'd shy away from coconuts, especially the hairy'uns.

Yes, I was hardly what you'd call a staunch vegetarian.


Greens, spinach and aubergines

for breakfast and supper and in betweens.

I could hardly pretend I was mushrooms best friend.

And I'd run away from runner beans!


But one day it all changed and I'll never forget,

I was tricked into eating a piece of courgette.

So eating fresh veggies I now put my money on.

A wise man eats leeks and a sage knows his onion.


'Cause greens, spinach and aubergines

for breakfast and supper and in betweens.

Every day, every hour you should eat cauliflower.

It's food fit for kings and queens!


Debbie decides that the vulture was no help at all and so she leaves.

T-Shirt is still scrabbling about in the flowers, when he finds the letter. He then smells the flowers and falls asleep. T-Bag appears nearby and does a bit to camera about how she is certain that Vic would have drained every last drop of blood from Debbie. She also is determined to get the letters and T-Shirt back. She notices the cave and goes into it. Vic leaps out and startles her. She then notices that he has no fangs and realises that he is not scary. She demands to know if T-Shirt has passed through the cave, but Vic says that he hasn't. She then goes to leave, but Vic wants her to stay and chat. T-Bag says that she has no time to waste on an old Gasbag like him, but Vic is insistant, so she zaps him away and stomps out of the cave. She finds T-Shirt asleep in the violets. She tries to wake him up, but then she hears Debbie calling for him from within the cave. She hides in the bushes. Debbie comes out of the cave with Vic and explains that she is after her friend.

T-Bag hears this and turns herself into T-Shirt. The fake T-Shirt demands that Debbie should show him the letters. Debbie obliges, but the phoney t-Shirt makes a grab for them. Debbie snatches them away just in time. He then shouts, "Curse you child!" and disappears. Debbie tells Vic that he is acting very strangely. They then go looking for him and find the real T-Shirt asleep in the violets. Vic realises that he is under the spell of the sleeping violets for 100 years. He tells her that only a kiss can break the spell. Debbie then kisses T-Shirt on the cheek and the spell is broken. Debbie asks why he was being so horrible, but he doesn't know what she is talking about. The other T-Shirt than appears and Debbie realises what is going on. She can't tell them apart, so she asks them what they think of T-Bag, thinking that T-Bag won;t say anything nasty about herself because she is too vain, but they both say that they think she is horrible. The real T-Shirt then gives her the golden letter V, so Debbie then realises that T-Bag would never have handed it over. T-Bag reassumes her true form and zaps T-Shirt back to the T-Room. She then goes on to threaten Debbie, but Vic interrupts and hands her over a big bunch of sleeping violets saying that they are a gift for the lovely lady. T-Bag takes a big sniff and then starts yawning her head off. She goes back to the T-Room.

Debbie gets over excited because she assumes that she has just witnessed the end of T-Bag.

Back in the T-Square, T-Bag tries to tell T-Shirt that she needs a kiss, but she falls asleep before she can get the words out.

Vic tells Debbie to stop by again on her way back. Debbie sets off to get the next letter.

In the T-Square, T-Bag is fast asleep. T-Shirt starts mocking her and he kisses her hand. This breaks the spell and she awakes, furious that T-Shirt is mocking her.

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