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Wonders in Letterland

Episode 6 (Debbie in the Land of R)

First transmitted 9.5.1985



 
 

 

 

Debbie arrives on a desert island in the land of R. She is relieved to be out of the Polar chill of the Land of P, but the sudden heat soon gets to her and she finds that she has to rest on a nearby rock. She takes her gold letters out of her bag and looks to see how many she has found. Suddenly, she is accosted by Rascally Roger, scourge of the seven seas. He forces her to give him the gold letters and he kidnaps her to put her to use aboard his ship, the Good Ship Rhubarb.

T-Bag is soaking her feet in hot water because she has caught cold after her soaking in the land of P. She sees that the letters have been stolen by Roger and is pleased because Roger is a devoted member of her T-Set. She decides that she is too ill to go and get the letters herself, so she sends T-Shirt instead.

Roger gets Debbie aboard the Rhubarb and sets her to swabbing the decks. He goes into his cabin and puts the letters into a little box along with the letter R which he already owns.

T-Shirt appears on deck and tells Debbie that he can't stop to chat. Roger comes out of his cabin, and T-Shirt demands the letters from him by order of her majes-T. Debbie tells Roger not to believe that T-Bag sent him because she says that T-Shirt always tells fibs. Roger thinks hard and thinks that on reflection, T-Shirt did have the sort of face that always tells fibs. Debbie demands to know why T-Bag didn't come to get the letters herself. T-Shirt tells her that she has caught cold from all the snow. Roger then doesn't believe T-Shirt at all because it doesn't snow in the Land of R. Before T-Shirt can explain, Roger ejects him from the ship. He decides that everyone is out to rob him and goes to hide his treasure somewhere secure. He leaves Debbie on the ship, who despairs at the loss of her letters. She sings a song:

 

I sometimes wonder what it is

That I just don't understand.

Why could it be I'm called to see

Such wonders, the Wonders of Letterland?

 

To wander so, search high and low,

Was something that I'd never planned.

By the end of the game will my life be the same

After wonders, the Wonders in Letterland?

 

Letterland!

 

Meanwhile, Roger lands on the beach and buries his treasure under the rocks five paces from the palmtree.

T-Bag decides that she should go and get the letters from Roger herself, but T-Shirt tells her that she is still too ill. She lets T-Shirt go down again, as he has a plan. She makes him keep in contact by giving him a magic cup and saucer to use as a telephone to keep her updated.

Back aboard the Rhubarb Debbie has given up searching the ship for her letters. Roger comes in and sings his song:

 

I'm a rascal, I'm a rascal!

I'm the terror of the seven seas!

I put fear in the hearts of me hearties!

I make riffraff, riff-raff wobble at the knees!

 

So Yo-ho-ho-ho and a yo-ho-ho!

Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of (pause) RASPBERRY JUICE!

 

I'm a rascal, I'm a rascal!

Perhaps you've heard it told

I'd sail a million miles or more to get my fingers round some gold!

 

'Tis gold that makes me happy.

See gold and I see stars!

'Tis gold that razzle-dazzles me

And makes me roll my R's.

 

So Yo-ho-ho-ho and a yo-ho-ho!

Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of (pause) RASPBERRY JUICE!

Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of (pause) ARR, ME HEARTIES!

 

Rascally Roger is exhausted after such a hard day, so he goes off to sleep, telling Debbie to carry on. Debbie puts down her mop and bucket because she is tired, and she curls up on a load of sacks.

During the night, a myserious barrel appears on deck. T-Shirt pops up from it and calls home with his cup and saucer. He drags T-Bag out of bed to report that there is no news of the letters yet. T-Bag tells him to bog off so she can get back to sleep.

T-Shirt goes over to the sleeping Debbie and looks in her bag, but there are no letters. He then sees a hanky hanging up and rushes over to get it as he is about to sneeze. He gets the hanky and sneezes loudly. Rascally Roger calls out, demanding to know who is there. T-Shirt hides behind the barrel. Roger comes onto deck and wakes Debbie up telling her that he heard a terrible noise. Debbie suggests that it could have been the wind. Roger and Debbie than go back to sleep.

The following day, Roger checks that Debbie has done all her chores. He then notices the mysterious barrel and rushes over to it, thinking that it is a barrel of raspberry juice. He opens it to find T-Shirt. He threatens T-Shirt, but Debbie suggests putting him to good use swabbing the decks. Debbie asks T-Shirt what he is doing there, but T-Shirt tells her that he has come to rescue her. Debbie doesn't believe this for a minute. She tells T-Shirt that the letters are not aboard the ship. T-Shirt rushes back to the barrel to drag T-Bag out of bed. He tells her that the letters have been taken by Roger and that only he knows where they are. T-Bag decides to go down there herself, cold or no cold.

T-Shirt starts sneezing again all over the hanky. It looks like he's caught T-Bag's cold. Debbie asks where he got the hanky, and T-Shirt explains that it was hanging aboard the ship. She has a closer look and finds out that it is Rascally Roger's map to where he has hidden the letters!

T-Shirt makes a grab for the map, but Debbie pulls it away from him. She demands to know why he is after the letters, and T-Shirt says that he couldn't really care less about them. Debbie tells him to forget working for T-Bag and join her, just as Roger starts to call out to ask what's going on. T-Shirt agrees to help Debbie and the two children scarper to get the rowing boat to take ashore. Roger comes out and finds that the map has gone.

The children follow the map directions; "Five paces from tree to treasure", but the treasure is not buried where they arrive.

T-Bag is aboard the Rhubarb demanding that Roger remembers where the map is. Roger can't remember where he put it. They then figure out that the children are missing, too and realise that they are hot on the trail of the golden letters.

On the island, the children work out that the map is written in terms of Roger's paces, and so they figure that they must do twice the number of paces to get to the treasure. They end up at another bunch of rocks and find the letters and the letter R. T-Bag and Roger then appear. T-Bag demands that T-Shirt gives her the box of letters. He hands it over, knowing that Debbie has already put the leters in her bag. The children run off to the next land.

T-Bag opens the box and is dismayed to know that T-Shirt has betrayed her. Rascally Roger then points out that they are heading to the haunted land of V and that they are doomed anyway.

 

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